Puce Attack

Stuff What's Happenin'

2007-09-26T20:23:00.001+08:00

Much is going on in the land of here, much indeed. Why, here's some stuff now.

Please to go voting at Design By Humans.

Huzzah! Check out Shirt.Woot today to buy this tee... one day only, but stay tuned for the special link to buy it after today. And when I say today, I mean today American, not today today. UPDATE: Here's the link, go gets one for US$15.

Bountee is printing a small selection of my designs which are going well, I'd buy them myself if they weren't a million pounds each. I mean... oh runts.

As usual I have a bunch of badges at Prickie which is a great site after you've waded through the rip-offs.

And finally check out Uneetee from Thursday the 8th to buy thisa one!

please for the votey!

2007-08-04T14:59:00.001+08:00

If you vote I's be ruving you forever.

Buy Me Tees

2007-06-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

Huzzah! Now you can be buyin' ma derishous tees right here.

Votey

2007-01-16T13:21:00.000+09:00

Votey

Oh Lappy Day!

2007-01-10T08:46:00.000+09:00

That's right kids, getting my new maclappy today! (or possibly tomorrow) In the meantime, it's time to vote for this design at without pockets. Thanks, friend!

Checky ma badges!

2006-12-21T12:29:00.000+09:00

Ummm that is all.
Clicky.

Merry Christmas Ad People!

2006-12-15T15:08:00.000+09:00

Hey, check it out, I'm not dead! I've been off doing other things in my spare time, but here's some pics of the agency pirate party yesterday on a big boat. You know you're onto a good thing when your work gives everyone an iPod for christmas! Good times. Good times.

Votey McVote

2006-11-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

It's time for 'I know I haven't written on here for weeks but go and vote for my designs' time!
Clicky here to votes for my patterns on Naked & Angry! Just use your Threadless login. My ones are the ones with my name on them.
Insanity.

I never knew ye.

2006-10-25T09:35:00.000+08:00

Interrobang - I never knew ye, yet I don't know how I've lived my life without ye. Wikipedia calls it a "punctuation mark intended to combine the functions of a question mark and an exclamation point" such as when one wants to say "Why the hell did you put that shrimp on a treadmill‽" That's going straight in an ad.

This sticker is freaking infrangible!

2006-10-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

Welcome to 'The Dumbest Slogan Ever 2006' and the winner is... this one that I saw this morning on the way to work.

a) If you want the general public (ie. the LCD/retards) to understand your important safety message, don't use a word that one could use to win scrabble.

b) Our stop signs are made of aluminium. If you hit them, they ain't gonna be stopping anyone else any time soon. Maybe they should have concentrated on those powerline holder poles, those ones made of STEEL AND CONCRETE.

Maybe they're just expressing a high-brow brand of humour that my brain is not able to assimilate. In that case, I should just go hang out in an african country and wait for Madonna to adopt me.

Check it

2006-10-03T16:02:00.000+08:00

Sorry for being so preoccupied... in the mean time, check out my accomplice's nifty photography site over here, it's soon to be much bigger...

Poor Wittle Fella

2006-09-26T09:04:00.000+08:00

I watched a doco last night about a Holocaust denier. He wasn't bad, he was just a little simple. So... go vote for my new shirt.

Felt the need

2006-09-21T09:27:00.000+08:00

I felt the need to be Richard-riotic and so here's a nifty bit from last weeks (in Australia time...) Top Gear.
Maybe I'll put up something about the inaugural "festival of ideas" soon... I only wrote that so I'm made to actually do it :)

Fatties and Bogans

2006-09-21T09:02:00.000+08:00

What is it with comedy shows that attracts fatties, bogans and people wearing leopard-print coats?
Came to the conclusion that it must be gravity. One person goes, and everyone else gets sucked along (but I'm open to your thoughts).

PS. On a terribly horrible note, I hope Richard Hammond gets better, he's my favourite. You do have to worry when the BBC puts up his life story :( But I spose if you're gonna go, you may as well go out in a 450kph jet car.

Rainyyyy

2006-08-31T11:28:00.000+08:00

Today's all rainy here in Sunny Perth. I'm putting up a pic I took on Hayman Island last year just to taunt myself. Those were the times.
Ps. Does anyone want in Perth to buy a car? It's a '91 Corolla sedan with AC CD and many other good acronyms. It's real good.

Awards Time Again

2006-08-25T08:22:00.000+08:00

Awards. They really sort the men from the other men.
Hours of work with a scalpel and thousands of dollars later, we have a neat pile of award entries ready to go (hopefully not to their gruesome deaths). At this point I've started thinking that the agencies who don't enter awards have it right. Actually, it was at the point where I had to mount the radio scripts on sturdy black card. I don't think spray-glue is good for your reproductive options.

Help Me Obi-Wan Kenobi.

2006-08-19T13:09:00.000+08:00

Have I mentioned how much we like all you guys? My friends? My faithful readers? My fellow advertising types? People who've just come here by mistake? May I mention how you're all looking really good today?
Oh, I just remembered... you may have heard of Threadless, the insanely cool online tshirt design competition. I (your best friend Rikki) have entered a few submissions but the only way we can win is to get them votedfor (see previous post and previouser post). All you have to do is sign up - they don't spam you and it's free, you can even forget about them straight after - and vote like this:
And then tell everyone you know to do the same and then put it on your blog :) Don't forget to leave a comment on threadless saying how much you like it, cause they take comments into consideration too!)
Begging: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE go here and vote for Rikki's submissions, I'll love you forever. Even more than I already do. Did I mention you have nice hair?

My First Wittle Design

2006-08-18T10:18:00.000+08:00

My first threadless design is ready for all your votes!
I'll make a real post about this in a coupla days when the others are ready, but in the awaiting times, clicky on the picture and go vote for me, lovely friends. (If you leave a comment on the site the judges actually read them) I love you all collectively like you were a cute little chinchilla.

Scribblin' with Josh

2006-08-15T07:39:00.000+08:00

Check out my new button on the left there... that's where you click to go to Threadless and buy tshirts so's I get free money from them ok?
If you haven't heard of them, it's an ongoing tshirt designing comp where if your design is chosen for printing and sale you get lots of cool things like money.
I've got a few designs I'm hoping they'll approve in a few days, so be ready for me telling you all to go there and vote for them!! Why not sign up now so it'll be quicker to vote for me later? What a good idea.

Hostage Situation at the Agency

2006-08-10T16:17:00.000+08:00

Twas a quiet afternoon at TBA, when sirens awoke us from our slumber. I mean work. Actually, there weren't any sirens, but there was a scruffy lookin' hobo outside our door using the carpet as a urinal. At first we thought he was the new Art Director, but we decided he wasn't so we called the cops like any self respecting bourgeois advertising types would.

Luckily, our office area is keypad locked, but unluckily, the meth-man was sitting outside the door. We were trapped like a bunch of little girls in a... box.

So the cops show up, then 2 CIA men (could have been MI-5).

Then the cops got backup.

Then some sailors came to help.

Check out the face down handcuff action... complete with woman on left with tazer.

And then we were safe, thanks to our friends the Policemen.

The End.

"Happy Birthday" ain't cool.

2006-08-08T07:39:00.000+08:00

I made a cake on the weekend. So I had this idea that everyone should give me their best atop-a-cake slogan, and i'll make my favourite into a real life cake*. So... commence then.

*not a real promise.

A New Career Highlight.

2006-08-02T12:31:00.000+08:00

Take that, Perth landmarks.
Co-credit must go to James, I spose.

Top Gear = Most Cool

2006-08-02T12:24:00.000+08:00

Everyone who doesn't watch Top Gear, go and watch it immediately. The BBC car show is shot beautifully, is hilarious, and most importantly, chases new cars with army tanks. I would kill people to have a teeny portion of their budget to make a 30 second ad.
I'd kill them with an army tank.

I'm in love with this:

2006-07-31T15:37:00.000+08:00

Friday Night Out.

2006-07-31T12:31:00.000+08:00

When trying to think of a direction for this post, I thought of "Have I Become the Bourgeois Whom I Once Hated?" or, "When Did it Become Acceptable to Pay Half a Monthly Salary for One Meal?", but after much deliberation, I've decided to go with "Check Me Out, Bitches!'

Friday night dinner at Jackson's Restaurant: 9 courses, 3 complimentary courses, 9 glasses of perfectly matched wine. My favourite had to be the sesame and smoked salmon cones with green pea and mint icecream. After a few courses I'd even found enough trust in the chef to try rats of the sky.
I'm still full.
And drunk.
Thanks to Matt and Gemma from here (for all your architectural needs) for a cool-as evening which I'll remember for many a time.

Want More.

2006-07-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

I want a Mini Mammoth for Christmas.
PS. I found this and recon it's spiffing. I'm learning flash at the moment. Tuesday nights, actually.
Carry on.

Freakin' James.

2006-07-21T15:38:00.000+08:00

Welcome to our office.

Happy Birthday to ME (not James)

2006-07-20T15:16:00.000+08:00

Today marks 25 years since the birth of me, whom you all know and love. But alas, my special day has been usurped. Not once, but twice.

James has had the bad taste to have his birthday tomorrow, and therefore is weaseling my birthday kudos away. I made him a site. Go there immediately and say how much you hate him.
THEN, the suits upstairs decided to use my birthday morning tea to announce some winners of some contest that I don't care about (I would care if you had won, Yella).

But I gots a sweet clock from a lovely, and this tops HomestarRunner shirt from James (but I'ma keep the hate alive).

Oh yeah, and Josh is some kinda famous.
God save the Queen.

Word learnin' 101

2006-07-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

Being illiterate in your own home is dandy, but if you're gonna put a poster in the window of your business establishment, freakin' learn to spell.
Ask someone to check your spelling.
Open a dictionary. Do a course. Repeat grade 3.
This is just as bad as inappropriate use of 'quotation' marks, and wrongful apostrophe place-age.
Luckily, I don't think this particular Vic Park nail salon's clientele will be affected, since they probably can't read anyway.

Robbed.

2006-07-13T13:35:00.000+08:00

I was browsing the Worth1000.com photoshopping contests (shut up), and I just want to put this particular contender into the spotlight. It's from the comp "Chocolate 3", it only came 2nd.
It was ROBBED! Robbed I tells you.

If you can get past his weird name...

2006-07-13T13:15:00.000+08:00

Jad (someone I vaguely know and shall now use to my advantage to look cool) is famous! His strip has been chosen for Guest Week over at Explosm.net (which, if you haven't been there, is go there now material).

Pharmaceutical Turf War

2006-07-04T08:44:00.000+08:00

Sorry for the delay in the postal service, there's been work, house moves and hospitals, but it's a little more sane now. Speaking of hospitals, last night I was wandering the streets of Perth and came across this sign:

"What good advertising," I thought to myself. More people should give it a shot. "It's a Sony. Or is it?" Then, on the next window:

"We give the same 50% OFF'. I took a few pics of the weirdo chemist for my collection, and was accosted by someone asking what the hell I was doing. I said, "Don't worry, I'm in advertising." He was a mechanic.
Further down the street it all came into perspective:

Well it ain't English, but it explained a lot.
TURF WAR!

Making Perth a Better Place

2006-06-26T12:16:00.000+08:00

For all those in cheery Perth, this is for you.
For all those not in cheery Perth, I hope you appreciate the blood anyway.
Check out our client's website here and pass it on here!

Well it Was a Good Day...

2006-06-26T10:34:00.000+08:00

My pal Mack Attack has a sombre story to tell for those in the adworld.
I don't know why he's trying to bring my day down, but clicky anyway, and learn all kinds of lessons.

A Good Day

2006-06-23T17:07:00.000+08:00

You know you've had a good day when you find an owl paperweight in the carpark. Massive project going down at the old workplace. More on that after the break.

Liver Little

2006-06-09T16:39:00.000+08:00

This is a little in-agency invitation we did for a staff party a couple of years ago, it somehow found its way only the internet, so I may as well point you there and take the credit!
Flolloping a bloody sheep liver around on someone's newly tiled bathroom floor was truly a highlight of my career.

Latest Past Time

2006-06-09T16:29:00.000+08:00

I've found my new calling: writing stuff on leaves.
From now on I'm going to direct all my spare energies into penning useful messages upon the spawn of trees to give some lost souls direction in life (anyone taking advice from leaves pretty much qualifies as a 'lost soul' in my book).
Leaves. Fotune cookies of the sky.

Aussie As, Mate.

2006-06-09T15:12:00.001+08:00

I always carry my camera with me, just in case I feel inclined to take a photo through my car window.

The Wrong Guy

2006-05-31T11:04:00.000+08:00

In an hilarious twist of fate obviously intended purely to entertain me, a London cabbie was mistakenly taken into a BBC television studio to give his expert views on Apple Computer's legal battle with Apple Corporation, the Beatles' music publishing company.
Poor Guy Goma thought he was going for a job interview, while the IT expert Guy Kewney was waiting in reception. Now all the interweb kids are trying to help him out. I love a good bandwagon.
Checky the video, I think he did rather well!

That's One Scraped Barrel

2006-05-31T10:49:00.002+08:00

Me 1 - Teabag 0

2006-05-29T17:18:00.000+08:00

That'll learn you.

Ad Agency Lackeys

2006-05-25T11:56:00.000+08:00

Need a painting hung up on a wall? Get a man with a hammer and a nail to come in.

Office plants looking unsightly? Get some people in to wipe the leaves with a wet cloth.

Someone write 'Scott no mates' in permanent marker on one of the office doors previously tenanted by an Art Director named Scott?
Well we wouldn't want to get turpentine on OUR hands.

Ad agency life, how I love you.

The Classic Rape Flavour

2006-05-25T09:35:00.000+08:00

How I love a good language barrier.

Thanks to Teemu JÃ¤ppinen in Finland for this Gimme Your Stuff exchange offer.

Moral Dilemma

2006-05-23T11:57:00.000+08:00

Ok, there's a new spaz-box at work and though I really want to consume it's delicious offerings, I don't really care to support the cause.
I've previously put money into the Native Bird Box and in the Random Kids Netball Team Box, but that was just so I wouldn't have my eyes pecked out or have to watch any netball games, which is really the same thing I guess.

Put A Lid On It (Sorry)

2006-05-22T13:27:00.000+08:00

Man, this is a freaking weird gift idea.

Finland Has It All

2006-05-22T09:13:00.000+08:00

Finland, Finland, Finland,
a country where I want to be
pony trekking or camping,
or performing voodoo rituals on small animals...

100 points to Lordi for winning Eurovision 2006. A year when the hosts were terrible and the songs were worse.
A big shout out to every man and his dog for posting this.

One Day...

2006-05-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

One Day they'll let me make the agency Christmas Card again. Last year's attempt didn't go down so well.

NES Nerds Unite

2006-05-10T08:19:00.000+08:00

The dumb thing about putting this link up is now I can never do this and claim it as my own idea.

Check out this freaking impressive live Super Mario Bros. talent show sketch.

Happy Tuesd'y

2006-05-09T13:20:00.000+08:00

Tuesday 9th May.
Efforts to bring in 'Wear Pink Slippers to Work Tuesdays' so far not going as planned.

Gimme Your Stuff.™

2006-04-28T15:49:00.000+08:00

Everyone go make friends with a Texan IMMEDIATELY!

A new friend of ours from texas requested we send her a tin of Aussie Milo, and in exchange, she'll send some tex-mex for our enjoyment. (She didn't say she was going to send 15 kilos of tex-mex, but that's another story).

When we received our much awaited package, it was like all our non-religious specific holiday celebrations had come at once. We wondered how we could share this joy with the world...

So, in conjunction with Thomp, and Lori Witzel I'd like to introduce... Gimme Your Stuff.™ A cultural exchange blog. A conduit for many an international cuisine can change hands. A place where you can trade a newspaper from South Africa, or a CD from Finland. A place where Thom and I take no responsibility for anything anyone else does. A place where we are Changing the world with other people's stuff.™

PS. I have plentiful aussie foodstuffs for the swapping! Milo, Vegemite and Anzac Bikkies all round... plus TimTams, the king of all aussie foods - trust me people, you want these!!!

A Shop? Am I Seriously?

2006-04-26T09:36:00.000+08:00

Having just finished a HUGE pitch at work I've decided to give myself a holiday morning.
So, seeing as it's still a work desk holiday, I was looking at Gothamist's lovely selection of apparel and decided to make myself a shop. Then i got less excited and could only be bothered making one design.
Hey, it's free and i just like having the pretty button OK!
Now go clicky on the button and make me the rich.

Transplant Recipient Tragedy

2006-04-21T13:48:00.000+08:00

The anti-rejection drugs didn't work.
He was struck down at the height of his fame. At the pinnacle of his achievement. In the apple of his... youth.
WHYYYYYYY??!

Beards and Bellies

2006-04-18T16:45:00.000+08:00

Muff Mug

2006-04-13T13:34:00.000+08:00

I was just innocently drinking one of my mid to late afternoon coffees when I happened to read the advertising on the side of my mug (you know, the kind that companies send advertising agencies in the hope that you'll need their steel fabrication services one day).
I'm not very thirsty anymore.

I've Done It!

2006-04-12T12:01:00.000+08:00

It's official. I've performed the first complete Gummybear face transplant. It was a close call, but everyone's doing well.

Milo the Bush Kangaroo

2006-04-11T17:12:00.001+08:00

I was in the kitchen at work and thought I'd put together a photo-essay on Milo for my American pals. It's not so much a 'photo-essay' as a 'photo' really, but it endeavours to show the story of Milo anyhow.

I've included both full cream milk and it's fat-reduced brethren so you don't get confused and think you can only use the one variety... Plus I have included the milo in three states; tinned (as it's found in the wild), powdered all over the floor and dissolved in a delicious drink. I've neglected to depict the Milo in other states (cold, sprinkled on icecream, etc) but I have a job, people.

You may have noticed the light emanating from behind the Milo. This is to illustrate how the Milo goes 'laaaaa' like the sun rising over the mountains.

Ps. See how yummy our milk is? In the most unoffensive way possible, your US of A milk is not fit to be in the presence of our delicious Milo. It tastes like powdery water. When I was there I was afraid to put it on my morning bowl of sugar lollies.
I mean Cereal.

Wasabi and a Curve Ball

2006-04-06T17:48:00.000+08:00

Is there nothing more annoying than a happy-go-lucky emo? You forgot to record Home And Away and you only got a $50 allowance this week.
Yep, it looks like suicide for you.
Anyway, do you know what it says on the side of the Milo tin in my office? 'Add four or more heaped teaspoons to a glass of hot milk and stir'. 4 or more teaspoons?! Milo doesn't grow on trees you know. I'm not exactly sure where it does grow, but if you lived there you could have 4 or more teaspoons.
I'm sure it was only 2 teaspoons back in the day. Actually, it probably was 4 but the parents cleverly concealed this fact and only let us have 2. That's nearly as bad as parents who top up their kid's fruit juice with water.
I was robbed.

New School Stories

2006-03-31T08:37:00.000+08:00

Just sittin' here listening to the Mighty Boosh... Bring back radio shows I say. Give poor old Foley Jim another shot before he dies.
People should be utilising Podcasts to make radio shows. I'd listen like a fox. But woe betide any of you who makes a racket while I'm listening to my stories.

Gone Hyper

2006-03-30T09:07:00.000+08:00

Finally, the wardrobes of people from Vegas are back in fashion. All rise for the return of the Hypercolour T-shirt!
Seriously.
Well if Sez O'Hare is wearing them, I'm sure everyone from Midland soon will be. Actually I think they never stopped, so we won't notice a transition as such.
Another fun day at the office for the person who turned her boobs purple with a hairdrier in this photoshoot.

Bleach and Breakfast Seminars

2006-03-29T09:38:00.000+08:00

Who was the Dumb that invented the Breakfast Seminar? Who really wants to wake up at 6 to go listen to some guy talk about how to do radio ads? Ok it WAS entertertaining. And funny. And we did get free breakfast with coffee and danishes and all the waitpeople we ever could desire...
We basically sat there for an hour listening to Ricky Gervais radio spots whilst eating delicious food and not working.
But come on, it was 7am.

Happy Monday

2006-03-27T08:39:00.000+08:00

You know it's gonna be a good day when you see a man in a purple teletubby suit running through Perth city.
No, I really did.

Kinda Like Kool Aid

2006-03-24T09:40:00.000+08:00

Funny Cause It's True

2006-03-23T12:29:00.000+08:00

Man, now I can't stop... I think I have childhood issues.

Oh My Childhood, Will You Ever Learn?

2006-03-23T09:10:00.000+08:00

The spirit of my childhood has compelled me to draw some pictures in my afore mentioned not-yet-full-enough-to-get-a-new-one sketch book. Maybe I'll draw some more, maybe I wont... who can really tell at this early stage.

Genius

2006-03-22T11:30:00.000+08:00

I have this song in my head. It goes:

I need a biscuit.
Biscuit biscuit biscuit
I need a biscuit for me

I need a biscuit
Biscuit biscuit biscuit
Biscuit biscuit biscuit for tea

I don't think it's a real song. Actually, i think i just wrote it. Carry on.

Boobies For All!

2006-03-22T10:17:00.000+08:00

We've all got them, people. This UK bra site is enough to hypnotise even the most something of us. Imagine the computer guys making this. There's a fun day at the office.

Neckface

2006-03-21T16:31:00.000+08:00

I kept wondering about NECKFACE in Soho, whether it's some obscure stencil guy or just weird graffiti...
I chose to believe it was a Black Books reference, so it made me smile when i walked past it every day.

Oww My Legs

2006-03-21T16:20:00.000+08:00

So Much Effort

2006-03-21T16:07:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gonna put some more of my NY adventure pics on here cause I haven't really gotten around to showing them to anyone.
But it's so much effort.
Here's one for now, so shut up about it and be happy that you have all the normal human appendages. I saw a doco on the weekend about a guy with two amputated legs. And it didn't seem like that much fun.

Bag A Bovine

2006-03-20T16:04:00.000+08:00

Clicky.
I said CLICKY.

Isaac Shafts South Park

2006-03-15T14:08:00.000+08:00

The man who once remarked about South Park, "Nobody is exempt from their humour... Don't be offended by it. If you take it too seriously, you have problems", has quit South Park after they made an episode about scientology. Before leaving he did offer to find out what's wrong with Matt & Trey's personalities and to let them know how aliens could help.

Barber Black Sheep

2006-03-13T09:22:00.000+08:00

There's a teeny tiny old school barber shop down the road from my place of work. There's all this old school paraphernalia for sale in the window, old magazines, ornaments, small chairs... and 'Ned Kelly's Boots?'

This is the coolest barber shop in all the world.

New Target Campaign

2006-03-08T14:30:00.000+08:00

I've got it! How about we put targets on
New York landmarks?

It's Hard Out there for a Pimp

2006-03-08T08:37:00.000+08:00

"Man it seems like I'm duckin dodgin bullets everyday
Niggaz hatin on me cause I got hoes on the tray"

" That's the way the game goes, gotta keep it strictly pimpin
Gotta have my hustle tight, makin change off these women"

"Wait I got a snow bunny, and a black girl too
You pay the right price and they'll both do you"

I wish I had hoes on my tray.

The Bike Bubble

2006-03-07T11:15:00.000+08:00

This morning i saw several people riding to work. One of them wasn't wearing a shirt. I thought his back hair was going to attack me if i got too close. One woman was wearing pretty pink patterny bike shorts and pink socks. And sandals. Another was wearing lime green leggings and a flap-hat.
Does the fact that you're riding a bike somehow render you outside the realms of common decency? Are you struggling with a family curse which magically transfigures you into some kind of Bag Lady when buttock touches saddle? Is there some kind of Bike Bubble that makes it ok to wear outfits from the dress-up box?
You've got a lot to answer for, ride-to-work set.

Pink Bits

2006-03-03T16:09:00.000+08:00

It's all gone puce. I've moved on from writing posts, now it's all about making it pretty. I tend to get addicted to things easily. It's a problem.
Thought I'd put this puce-esque ad in for effect. Surprisingly it's the only puce ad we've done. One day I'll get bored of the pretty and return to writing things. In the meantime, look at this gratuitous plug.

And I Thought I Had Nothing To Say Today

2006-02-28T15:13:00.000+08:00

Man Forced To Marry Goat

From correspondents in Malakal, Sudan

February 27, 2006

A MAN caught “in flagrante delicto” with a goat has been forced to marry the animal.

According to the local newspaper, The Juba Post, the goat’s owner, a Mr Alifi, caught his neighbour, Mr Tombe, assaulting his goat and reported the man to the local council of elders for adjudication.

“It was around midnight when Tombe came to do his nonsense on my goat, and I was already in bed inside my house,” Mr Alifi said.

“Suddenly I heard the goat make a loud noise. Immediately I rushed outside to find Mr Tombe was naked and engaged in a relationship with my goat. “ When I asked him what are you doing there, he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up. They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife.”

Mr Tombe agreed to pay a dowry of 150,000 Sudanese dinars ($125) for his new spouse.“We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together,” Mr Alifi told the Post.

Just A Big Bunch O Nothin

2006-02-28T13:01:00.000+08:00

Nothing to report.

Just Like So

2006-02-24T09:24:00.000+08:00

Make Me So Angry

2006-02-23T16:40:00.000+08:00

This stupid marketing blog makes me so angered... It's just packed with wisdom such as:

"The Number One reason for any size business to advertise on TV, Radio, or in Print is to motivate your employees."

"Make the call to action the HERO of your ad as in--'Call Us Now! You will get right through to an experienced professional ready and able to assist you!'"

"You need a personality to be the "face" of your business. Not just a logo, a slogan, or a picture of your product."

I'm sure CocaCola Man would agree with the last one.
And the bit that made the soapbox anger happen:

"Think of every potential customer as 65 years old with poor eyesight. Even if your market is teenagers this rule applies... Whatever your art director recommends--insist the body copy type size be doubled or tripled. Afterall, THE objective is to be read! And, no white reverse type--ever."

THIS is what keeps me stuck at my desk until all hours of the night, re-doing perfectly fine, well thought out work. People are not going to read something that looks like it was designed for a dyslexic four year old and should be in a chew-proof plastic book that you can take in the bath. If the market is teenagers, design for teenagers, not the elderly... cause they ain't gonna appreciate it. Ain't appreciating it = aint gonna read it = dumb waste of my time.

No wonder you're selling freaking Leadership E-books with a picture of yourself on the front, not making millions of dollars in the advertising industry, Curs-ed Propaganda Man.

Snuff & Nonsense

2006-02-23T13:12:00.000+08:00

Are they seriously?
They took my Mighty Boosh/Marenghi guys and made another show? Could my life be any happier? Ah Snuff Box... how i'll miss you until such a day that you're played on our TVs here in the land that time forgot. But until then I'll just watch you here and here.

"The show is set in a Gentlemen's Club for Hangmen and features a hanging per episode, plus time travel, a variety of sports, fighting, shouting, rude words, guest appearances from Elton John, David Bowie and Adam Ant, pleasure, dancing and intrigue."

Sometimes I Worry About Myself

2006-02-23T09:26:00.000+08:00

Looking through my current (ie. not bored of it enough to buy a new one yet even though it's not full) concepting notebook, I've come to this stunning conclusion: I'm a freaking freak. Good thing I have a job in advertising.

Keep me away from your children.

Inappropriate Punctuation 'Included'.

2006-02-22T13:18:00.000+08:00

Hey kids! Feeling concerned about those 'innermost' thoughts?
'Afraid' you're going to 'hell'?

We can help! Come visit us at Books by Black Exgay Authors.

And why not check out our testimonials?

"Greetings in the name of Jesus Christ, I find this site most helpful in the battle against Lucifer and his minions. I am a former wanna be Pimp who spent a great deal of time hanging around prostitutes. When your on the stroll you find both female and male prostitutes, so I am quite familiar with one of the darkest elements that Satan rifles the unsaved with. Glory to God I escaped that hell-bound way of life to became a saint of God. Thank You Jesus."

The Power Is... Whose?

2006-02-20T08:48:00.000+08:00

I was watching a bit of arvo TV on the weekend and found this cartoon where 5 teenagers are chosen to protect the world and given the elemental powers of Earth, Fire, Water etc. There's a blonde, a readhead, a brunette, an Asian girl, and an African American, and when their powers combine they're more powerful than ever before.

It's Disney's new cartoon W.I.T.C.H.
Make me so angry.

The Adventures, the Zooniverse, the Hair

2006-02-17T11:15:00.000+08:00

So The Mighty Boosh Series 2 is on DVD... Do i fork the $45 bucks to buy it online or do i wait til December 2015 for it to come here? Dilemmas.

For the Love of Having a Beer Account

2006-02-17T10:11:00.000+08:00

Why is life so unkind?

You Can't Be Seriously

2006-02-16T10:51:00.000+08:00

Spicks and Specks generally teaches me everything i know. But could this fresh faced young new wavey 80's popper really turn out to be Ricky Gervais? Well possibly, he does have the same hair and a lovely manicured brow. And the same head. Meanwhile, the other bloke looks like someone... but i can't work out who. I'm getting Frenzal Rhomb vibes. Oh well, I'm off to eat a Rose of the Prophet Mohammad.
Never trust a man with a wooden leg.

I'll Never Buy Brand X Again

2006-02-16T10:31:00.000+08:00

Well this is pretty cool. I hope they go all out gross, I saw an ad on the telly that showed a mouth cancer picture on a box. It looked like the chick who was on Extreme Makeover last night.

The Devil Loves Pink

2006-02-16T09:30:00.000+08:00

Ok, here's something i came across in my travels... I highly recommend that you don't click here and especially don't watch the movie trailer because it's highly disturbing and a bit yucky. (I saw the name, I thought I'd see what it was all about...) But my most favourite bit, and the reason for posting it on here, is that the director has made a written pact with the devil. Then he coloured it in with pretty colours.

Just So Full of Cool

2006-02-15T11:13:00.000+08:00

Pandora.com. Admittedly sometimes it gets confused and thinks that the Dissociatives sound like Savage Garden, but on the whole, most cool.

New information to hand:
I've just realised that The Dissociatives DO sound like Savage Garden when their record company pays you enough.

And 30 Miles Home

2006-02-15T10:00:00.000+08:00

It's raining today. On that topic, check this out... a New York photography project where shots are taken from exactly the same spots as shots from the 30s. These ones are of Market Street from 1935 and then 1998 by Douglas Levere (granted that perhaps they should do a 2006 version). Just clicky here to reminisce about how you used to walk 20 miles to school every day without complaining (in the snow).

More More Gilmore

2006-02-15T08:52:00.000+08:00

Ok, so I'm addicted to The Gilmore Girls.
Those crazy women with their intellectual banter and a combined vernacular the size of a really big thing, will they ever not have something insightful to say?
Plus I have the added incentive to watch cause I have to keep an eye on the older one, my lovely boyfriend is going to leave me for her if she comes close enough.

If you need further proof that it's cool, this Family Guy episode tells us so.
But if I haven't managed to persuade you, this website pretty much confirms that you're right and destroys my credibility forever more.

Just Hangin Out Pouch Style

2006-02-13T13:19:00.000+08:00

While on this topic... I just remembered Dot and the Kangaroo. Not terrifying, but i thought it was weird that i can still remember the voices of the characters. It's a bit of an odd concept, but it was written in 1899, before brains were invented.

And the Winner is...

2006-02-13T11:50:00.000+08:00

A film that boasts, 'A Hair Raising Comedy!'
A film that inspired such comments as:

"I thought the plot of the movie was a nightmare i had. But recounting my nightmare to people they said there was no way that was a kids movie."

"I vividly recall ejecting the tape from our VCR and smashing it to pieces with my brother. We might have set it aflame, too."

"What kind of movie tells little children that expectant mothers eat dirt?"

"I once broke my toe and it made me cry...just like this movie"

This person was so freaked out that she had to invent a word to describe it.

"I have NEVER, NEVER seen a childrens movie that was so weird and absurdistic as this one."

The Peanut Butter Solution.
Basically it's that old, old tale we've heard a thousand times. Boy goes into haunted house, boy gets so scared his hair falls out, boy creates a magical hair regrowth paste out of peanut butter, boys hair never stops growing, boy's evil teacher kidnaps boy to use his hair to make paintbrushes which boy's teacher uses to create magical paintings that you can walk into, eventually leading to his own demise. How many times have we heard that old chestnut.

Never. And there's a bloody good reason for that. It's freaking terrifying.
Not to mention the strange sub-plot where the mum goes away and the 10 year old daughter starts to behave like a 40 year old woman in her stead, or the fact that Celine Dion composed the soundtrack.

Take your freaky paintbrushes and ghosts and blenders and wigs and sugar trails and paintings and get the hell away from me!

I did, however, like the random Asian kid who always wanted 'delicious grapes'.

No wonder she ended up in The Craft

2006-02-13T11:36:00.001+08:00

Second most Terrifying Children's Movie of all time? Return to Oz. Jesus Christ. Robot men, pumpkin-headed adolescents made of sticks calling you 'mum', rocks that come alive and eat you, evil soldiers with wheels for hands, a flying moose-head-couch, and to top it off, an evil queen who's HEAD COMES OFF AND SHE SWAPS IT FOR THE HEADS OF PEOPLE SHE HAS TURNED TO STONE.
Actually, I should have realised it was evil in the first 5 minutes when Dorothy (who is now about 5 years younger looking) is carted off to the clinic for electro-shock treatment because she thinks Oz is a real place.
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.

Spot the Difference

2006-02-13T10:54:00.000+08:00

If i had recently been lying on a psyciatrists couch I'm sure that he (let's face it, he's a man) would have come to the conclusion that my general insanity comes from that small dark place in my head where I store all memories of terrifying movies I watched as a child. And he's right. No wonder I pay him so well in those sweet, sweet imaginary dollars.
What were they thinking back then? And you know the worst thing? They try to smooth it over now, like we're the insane ones and it was never terrifying... Look at what they have done to the new cover of The Water Babies. Does the picture on the right even teensily resemble the terrifying 1978 animation on the left? No, he looks like a strapping young boy enjoying a friendly frolic in fairyland, not a terrifying whitey freak singing 'hie cocalorum' with a scottish lobster and a french muscateer swordfish in Dead Man's Pool (or some similarly named evil green body of water).
And hang on... where did the happy rat and his friend the frog come from? I'm fairly certain that there were no such characters. You can't just invent characters on the DVD cover! It's the whole Empire Records dog scandal all over again. Stay tuned for the next installment of Terrifying Childhood Movies.

Ting!

2006-02-09T17:10:00.000+08:00

I just went to the denty which i was dreading as per usual... but behold! I've got the best dentist ever. Geoff the Dentist is his name (how did his mother know?) and this is your formal letter of recommendation to go and see him. You know, when you've saved up. And now I'll go back to chewing on the inside of my mouth like a true numb-faced person should.

Shocking Like a Fox

2006-02-09T13:54:00.000+08:00

Oh, this filum looks pretty...

It's Like a Hair Buffet

2006-02-09T08:39:00.000+08:00

Awww this is me and my brothies... I'm the oldest but they all outgrew me somewhere around march. Dumb.

That Crazy Jack and his Anecdotes

2006-02-08T08:33:00.000+08:00

Ohhhhh Jack White is being all individual from his wife-sister and hooking up with some other dudes... Heard their new song thismorn, my official opinion is 'meh' but i'll probably be in love with them in a few days. Meanwhile, they have a cool website. With the clicking here... and the going there... and the linking pages...