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Location: Pert, The Ole West, Australia

Rikki makes annoying ads and likes hilarious things.
She hates people who believe in star signs because a
tarot card reader once told her she was pregnant.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Make Me So Angry

This stupid marketing blog makes me so angered... It's just packed with wisdom such as:

"The Number One reason for any size business to advertise on TV, Radio, or in Print is to motivate your employees."

"Make the call to action the HERO of your ad as in--'Call Us Now! You will get right through to an experienced professional ready and able to assist you!'"

"You need a personality to be the "face" of your business. Not just a logo, a slogan, or a picture of your product."

I'm sure CocaCola Man would agree with the last one.
And the bit that made the soapbox anger happen:

"Think of every potential customer as 65 years old with poor eyesight. Even if your market is teenagers this rule applies... Whatever your art director recommends--insist the body copy type size be doubled or tripled. Afterall, THE objective is to be read! And, no white reverse type--ever."

THIS is what keeps me stuck at my desk until all hours of the night, re-doing perfectly fine, well thought out work. People are not going to read something that looks like it was designed for a dyslexic four year old and should be in a chew-proof plastic book that you can take in the bath. If the market is teenagers, design for teenagers, not the elderly... cause they ain't gonna appreciate it. Ain't appreciating it = aint gonna read it = dumb waste of my time.

No wonder you're selling freaking Leadership E-books with a picture of yourself on the front, not making millions of dollars in the advertising industry, Curs-ed Propaganda Man.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Looks like that advert was designed with PowerPoint! How lame is that??

3:54 AM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Rikki said...

Actually i did it in Indesign... who would have known it was capable of producing such a thing...
It should come up with an error message when you try to save it... Sorry, your work is too shit and cannot be saved.

8:51 AM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Working Class Dan said...

Sorry, you did it!?!?!

Nice use of the drop shadow.

10:41 AM, February 24, 2006  
Blogger Rikki said...

Thanks, man. Not to mention comic sans and a starburst :) Careful not to show the clients, they'll all want one.

3:42 PM, February 24, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oops, didn't realise you designed the advert - shoot me now! But not until you've read my review of Snuffbox.

10:16 PM, March 01, 2006  

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